The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
