Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this just has baby written all over it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
