HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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