It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
