I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
