similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
