Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
