Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
