We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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