I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he fucked my hip out of place.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
