you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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