HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
