he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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