wat bout pragnant strippers??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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