He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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