Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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