I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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