I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
