My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
