Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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