Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
