I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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