I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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