id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I s2g Iām about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
