I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
