its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
