I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
