I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
