Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
