Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
