Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
