It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Even my vagina gasped.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
