Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
