when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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