Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
