I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
