I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
