you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
