I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
