So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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