There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
