yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
