if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize