grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
