i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
