I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
