i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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