I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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