that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
