i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
