when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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